We met at the corner of 7th street at the old Ale House of McSorely's. We met up the way you would when you're just two casual acquaintances getting together for a drink. It was as if I didn't spend endless nights wrapped in his bed sheets, or as if he didn't happily eat my burnt waffles every morning with a strained "these waffles taste like shit" expression on his face.
He always blamed the waffle maker. John was never good at hiding his facial expressions, sort of like right now as he walks into McSorely's and spots me sitting at the bar. With his heart on his sleeve, he has that kind of expression that is expecting the worst but hoping for the best. I always thought he was the most handsome when he wore such a worrisome look on his face- his eyebrows would furrow and he would purse his lips in a way that'd make him smirk in dismay. "Hey stranger" he kisses me on the cheek. "Do you kiss strangers on the cheek all the time?" "I make an exception every now and then" I can't help but smile, but John isn't smiling. "I gotcha a Jack and coke, your favorite" "Why do I feel like I'm gonna need something a little stronger than that?" I didn't know what to say so I concentrated on the stubble on his chin and downed my Amaretto sour. John is the good guy I should be in love with. He kisses my forehead before bed, eats my shitty waffles, and records all my favorite TV shows. He only upgraded to on demand because I'd complain about missing yet another episode of The Walking Dead. He even offered to buy me a new waffle maker once. "John there is nothing I would change about you, or about us, but I can't keep pretending that my heart isn't somewhere else" "Just tell me one thing Blake, why was it never me you fell in love with?" There goes that worrisome handsome look on his face again. Suddenly I hate myself because I can't keep him any longer than I selfishly already have. "Because I was always in love with him even after I met you John. I can't get the way he feels out of my head, and I can't help but look for him in every kiss I give you, and I can't help but feel like I hurt you every night I step into bed with you wishing it was him" It is much more crowded in here now than when I first arrived. The bar seems much dimmer yet every alcohol behind the counter is glowing, begging to be taken off the shelf. "I always knew it, I just didn't want to admit it to myself, that you were in love with another guy who wasn't me" We stayed quiet for a while, watched the strangers at the bar pass around the peanuts. I couldn't help but feel numb sitting on the red cushioned stool while John rested one leg against my stool occasionally swinging his knee so it tapped against my own. We stayed this way for what seemed like an eternity. "You think there will ever be any room left for me in that little heart of yours?" "There will always be room for you John" His eyes told me he believed that was a sweet lie. "Well now that you've broken my heart I guess I should confess something as well" There was a humorous undertone in his voice now. "What do you want to confess?" "Well...your waffles taste like shit"
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